A Personal Winter

Ever get that feeling that you’re stagnating….in a lull…flatlining, whatever you want to call it? It’s like your own personal Winter when everything slows down before you get that rush of fresh Spring energy and enthusiasm again to finally get back into gear.

Sometimes you can’t do anything about it except wait and….as I have been doing…get frustrated. I’m impatient, always have been.  I like to be on the move. I always have to be doing something, planning, tidying up, driving, walking, sleeping, tidying up, on the phone, tidying up, gardening….oh the list is endless!

winter blog
Winter can be calming

The trouble is what I want to be doing; what we both want to be doing is working the land, and we get frustrated when we cannot progress with that. I’ve learned there are always things which can be done in order to keep a connection with our project. What helps is having a focus, a purpose. We all need to be needed and there are plenty of people that are happy to make use of that neediness.

A few years ago my role as a mother changed, I wasn’t needed so much. I had to find a new role which kept me busy, which filled that void. Joining our Transition group was a big help. It gave me the purpose I was looking for, being part of a community. Don’t get me wrong, my kids still need me and so does Iain but there’s not much demand for ‘mum’ these days now they’ve become independent.

For me the commitment to being a parent has always been strong and it always will be. That’s why we wait so patiently for our children to build the foundations to their lives and make the choices they need to, then when they are ready to move on so will we.  There will always be a place for them wherever we go but for now they have chosen to follow their own paths and we thoroughly support them in their journey.

The thought of this keeps me focused and stops the stagnation as we build our current online community. Planning for the day when we can meet them, or some of them at least. I love being a mum, I love caring for people and celebrating life. Bringing people together and seeing what they can achieve is a fantastic experience.

The last event we organised for our Transition group was Apple Day. I got a buzz out of speaking to the local businesses and asking them to support our raffle, making those all important connections with the local community.  I enjoyed it when people came up with ideas for the day and my heart swelled when the mayor wrote a piece on her blog about it. It was a wonderful feeling knowing we had all pulled together to make the day a success and raise money for the group.  We had worked as a team…a community. I only usually get the lump in the throat moments when I see this kind of thing in a film….you know, when everybody pulls together at the end and everything’s all right;  well Apple Day was a lump in the throat moment for me.

So we continue to welcome people to our facebook and twitter communities, read Permaculture books , work on designing the land, keeping our regular maintenance visits up to Devon whilst staying connected to our children.

Sometimes though when you wait patiently, things begin to happen and time itself moves you, then you see there was a need for the slight pause in your life. There had to be for that motion to move again. Things usually sort themselves out in the most amazing ways.

For us the motion was our daughter finishing university. Ever since then everything seems to have sped up.  People who know what our dream is have come forward with donations of items they no longer use or need, the most recent being a very large donation of items from a local guide and scout group. Things that we had thought we would have to wait years to be able to purchase have fallen on our lap. A visit to our local car boot sale finally unearthed tools that we had been looking for for some time; it didn’t matter they were second hand. That’s what we do.

We’re very grateful for all of this, for the people who have become a part of our dream in whichever form that might be. They are always welcome to our piece of paradise and have a left a lasting mark on our hearts.

People have said how they envy us or would love to do what we are doing…….we say to them and people like them…do it! Not own a piece of land perhaps but whatever it is you want to do there are no obstacles…only your imagination and fear. Yes there are risks but if you want something bad enough, then those risks are worth everything when you come out the other end, living the life you really want to. For every challenge you come across it will teach you new things about yourself and whether what you are doing is the right thing for you.

You’ll never know if you don’t at least try…..and what then?

We know the pace will slow again…and….perhaps it needs to. It needs to in order for us to reflect back and take stock of what we have achieved so far and to make the most of those precious moments with our family whilst we still have them around us.winter blog2

So perhaps a few weeks or months of stagnation, or being forced to slow down isn’t a bad thing. Put into perspective we all need to take a moment to look at our lives, the direction we are taking and make sure it is what we really want. Relish those winter moments if you have them.

by Wenderlynn